iMade a Mistake
by chibigirl8
Summary: Sam makes a mistake. Will Freddie forgive her? Can she make it up to him? Seddie.
1. The Mistake

**A/N: Hey everyone this is my first iCarly fanfic. Please enjoy it. And don't forget to review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**The Mistake**

Freddie POV:

"Freddie," I heard Carly yell over the music.

I stood up trying to find where her voice was coming from. I soon found my brunette friend a few feet away.

"Over here, Carly," I shouted getting her attention and motioning her over.

"Hey, it's about time to go."

I looked at my watch to see that it was 12:35 AM. I had promised Spencer I would have Carly home by 1 AM. We were currently at a friend's party. It was a normal teenage party. It had loud music, wild dancing, and someone had found a way to sneak alcohol past the chaperones. Carly had had only one or two drinks so she was only slightly tipsy. I on the other hand was the designated driver, so I only had some water.

"Freddie, where's Sam?" Carly asked.

"She went to the bathroom. I'll go get her."

I made my way into the crowd leaving Carly behind. Sam was my girlfriend of two years now. She became my responsibility as most people looked at it. I was supposed to be her calming effect, though that was not always the case. Sam still beat up kids at school, including me. Even when we got together we were fighting.

-flashback—

We were doing iCarly. Gibby, Sam and I were doing one our Pathetic Plays. Somehow Sam got messed up with one of her lines so she blamed me. Of course.

Then we were off. Gibby and Carly tried to get us to calm down. And soon we did like they said, but we were still in a staring match.

_I want to kiss her, _I thought. The next thing I knew I did. Right on the lips. The crazy thing was she actually kissed me back.

After a few seconds, we pulled back.

"What about your crush on Carly?" she asked me.

"Over it," I answered.

"Good." And she pulled me back for another kiss.

-end flashback—

We're now 18 years old and in the middle of our senior year. Sam and I becoming a couple felt like it just happened yesterday. I was so happy with her. I believe I might even love her.

I continued to make my way through the crowd. Out the corner of my eye I saw Sam making her way upstairs. I followed her to the second floor. I wondered if the downstairs bathroom had a huge line so she decided to find another one.

Sam made her way down the hall. She opened up the door and closed it behind her.

_What the heck is she doing?_ I thought. We had already passed the bathroom. I went up to the door Sam had disappeared behind, and turned the knob. Luckily, it was unlocked. I opened the door to find Sam with another guy. The guy had his back to me, and he was kissing Sam. They were making their way over to the bed. Soon, Sam was lying on the bed.

_God, no._ I thought. I stood in shock for only a second, and then I was in action. I pulled the guy off of Sam to see that it was Jonah, Sam's ex-boyfriend. I punched him and he fell onto the floor. I turned towards Sam.

She was shocked. Then she began to smile at me. "Ah, Fredbear, you found me. But, you didn't have to knock him out. We were just having some fun."

Sam reeked of alcohol. She wasn't this way when she left to go to the bathroom. I didn't know what had happened to her.

"Sam, can you stand up?" I asked.

She tried and failed.

"Alright, come on." I picked Sam up, and carried her out the door bridal style.

Sam started giggling. "Thank you, Freddie weddie."

I made my way downstairs to find Carly. Once I found her, I motioned for her to take the lead to my car. I had a Nissan Altima.

Once we were outside, Carly began questioning me.

"Freddie, what happened to Sam? She is practically sweating alcohol. And what happened to your hand? It's bleeding."

I sighed. "Carly, not now. I'll tell you later. First, let me get Sam into the car. Second, get into the back with Sam. We need to try to keep her woke for a little while to make sure she's okay."

"Alright," Carly replied. She climbed into the backseat next to Sam who I had buckled in the middle seat.

I went around to the trunk of my car. In a minute I had found what I was looking for. I handed a bag to Carly. She looked at me in confusion.

"In case she pukes," I answered her silent question.

I got into the car and drove us home.

* * *

After I had parked in the parking garage, the three of us, I was still carrying Sam, headed to Carly's apartment. She went in first to make sure Spencer had already gone to bed. When she gave the okay, I entered the apartment. I placed Sam in the sitting position on the couch.

"Carly, can you get me some water, bread, and the trash can?" I asked.

"Sure, Freddie," she answered.

She went into the kitchen and came back with the items I asked for.

"Great. Now should Sam change clothes or keep these on?"

"Let her keep them on for now. She can change in the morning."

"Okay," I said. I turned my attention to Sam. "Sam you need to drink this and eat some bread, okay?"

After practically forcing Sam to eat and drink, I carried her up to Carly's bedroom. Carly followed behind us. I laid Sam on her stomach. Almost as soon as I put her down Sam fell asleep.

"Hopefully with the food in her, she won't throw up," I told Carly. "But just in case, try to make sure she stays on her stomach so that she won't choke on her own vomit."

"Freddie," Carly said, "I know."

"Right." I knelt beside Sam and kissed her on her forehead. "See you tomorrow, Carls."

I made my way to my own place. I stopped in the kitchen to wash away to blood, which wasn't even mine. Then I made my way across the hall and to my own bed.

* * *

I continued to lie in my bed wide awake. I had no clue where to go from there (and I'm not talking about going to sleep). Was Sam going to cheat on me?

I couldn't believe it. Sam was going to cheat on me, if I hadn't stopped it.

Sam and I had been each other's firsts less than a year ago. We did it because we trusted each other. But, what now?

I decided to sleep on it. Sam and I had a lot to talk about.


	2. The Talk

**A/N: Well here you go. I hope you enjoy. Please review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**The Talk**

Carly POV:

_What had happened last night?_ That question continued to pop up in my head. Freddie seemed fine when he left to go get Sam so that we could leave, but there was something wrong when he returned. Plus the fact that he was bleeding, I knew there was something up. His face seemed very sad, his whole mood seemed sour, and the way he was looking at Sam spoke volumes. Though he didn't show it out right, he kept giving Sam glances of disappointment. I mean I know she was drunk and everything, but this was a different kind of discontent. It was as if she did something truly unforgiving. Ugh, I just don't understand. And when I asked, Freddie just said he would tell me later. I know he will when he's ready, but I could feel something horrible coming.

The reality was I hadn't gotten much sleep. I kept waking up to make sure Sam was okay, and that she didn't turn over onto her back during the night. I finally decided to get up and get dressed at around eight that morning. I went down the stairs to see Spencer finishing his breakfast.

"Morning, Spencer," I said as I entered the kitchen to get my own breakfast.

"Hey, kiddo. How was the party?"

"Oh, you know. There was music, food, and dancing. The usual."

"Yeah, I know," Spencer said sarcastically. "Listen I'm heading out. I'll be gone for most the day."

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I have some meetings with a few galleries. Then I have to go shopping for Socko's grandmother. And finally, I have a date."

"Good luck on the galleries. Why are you shopping for his grandmother? And with whom do you have a date with?"

"Thank you. I owe her a favor. And none of your business." Spencer ran into his room to change clothes and to avoid any more questioning from me. Typical.

Once Spencer left, I went upstairs to check on Sam. She hadn't moved at all. I decided to play a few rounds of Violin Hero up in the studio. At around eleven, Freddie texted me to tell me he was on his way over. I took the stairs so that I could see if Sam was up yet. She wasn't. I continued to my living room to see that Freddie had already beaten me to it.

"Hey, Freddie."

"Hey, Carly," he sighed.

Unless sighing greetings was his new thing, I'd say that that boy was even more depressed.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He opened his mouth to say something only to close it and just shake his head. "Is Sam up yet?" he asked instead.

"No, she's still asleep."

"Oh, okay."

"So Freddie, what happened last night?" I asked curiosity getting the better of me.

"What do you mean?" Great, he was trying to play dumb.

"You know what I mean. What happened when you went to go get Sam?"

He sighed again. "Carly, that's something that I need to talk about with Sam first. Okay?"

"Fine." I still hated not knowing but I could see why his girlfriend would come before his best friend.

"Listen I'm going to leave. When Sam gets up tell her I need to talk to her, okay?"

"Alright."

And with that, Freddie walked out the door.

* * *

Sam POV:

I moaned as I tried to get up and out of bed. I had a slight headache. _What did I do last night? _Oh yeah there was that awesome party. I must have drunk a lot. I looked around to see where I was. I realized that I was in Carly's bedroom. I slowly made my way downstairs. I saw Carly watching TV.

"Hey, Carls," I said when I reached the couch.

"Oh, hey Sam. Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I think I slept off most of my hangover, if that's possible. Hey, where'd you put my clothes?"

"Uh, I put them in the bathroom for you."

"Great. Now I go change." I made my way upstairs and into Carly's bathroom. I quickly took a shower and got dressed. My stomach was beginning to growl. I needed food and I needed it immediately. As soon as I was finished with brushing my teeth, I practically ran to the kitchen.

"So Sam," Carly said as I was scoping out her fridge. "How did you like that party last night?"

I finally found some ham. "It was fine. Why? It was just like all the other parties we've been to this year."

"Well, it's just that…" Carly trailed off. Now I knew something was up. If she couldn't put something into words, whatever she wanted to say had to be hard to say. I wondered if it was bad news. Or maybe, it was just something confusing.

"Come on, Carly. Just spit it out." I was tired of the suspense.

"Okay. Last night when it was time for us to go, Freddie had to go get you. He said you were in the bathroom. When guys finally came, he was carrying you. And one of his hands was bleeding. When I asked him what happened he said he would tell me later. But this morning when he came by he said that he should talk to you about it before he told me. Which I totally understand, but he has been acting really strange-"

I cut her off. She was starting to talk really fast. "Carly calm down." She took a deep breath. "That's good. Breathe. Now tell me slowly how Freddie's been acting strange."

"Last night, he took care of you like he normally would. He made sure you were okay and didn't vomit before he left. He carried you like you were a princess. He was being the good boyfriend we all know."

"Carly, get to the point."

"Right. Well he kept giving you these looks. It was like he was disappointed. Then this morning he was really depressed."

"I see." Now I was worried. Freddie would give me the 'disappointed looks' all the time. And I'll admit, sometimes I deserve it. But for Freddie to be depressed, that never happened. Sad? Sometimes. But I know the difference. I knew Carly was right. He had to be acting strange. What had happened?

"Freddie told me to tell you to go talk to him when you got up. I think you should go check up on him. Maybe he just needs to talk to his girlfriend. I'm sure once you guys finish he'll be back to normal." Carly gave me a small encouraging smile.

"Okay, well here I go." I walked to Freddie's apartment. Just as I was about to knock, a thought crossed my mind.

_If Freddie is as bad as Carly says then he's probably out on the fire escape._

I turned and made my way down the hall. As I got closer I heard music. Yep, he was out there.

_I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.  
I still feel your touch in my dreams.  
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why  
Without you it's hard to survive._

I recognized the song as I got closer.

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.  
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.  
Need you by my side.  
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.  
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.  
Can't you hear my heart beat so...  
I can't let you go.  
Want you in my life._

I reached the fire escape. I was able to look over Freddie's shoulder to see him watching the music video. I decided to sing along with the music to make my presence known if it wasn't already. Singing is something I only did in front of my boyfriend. It always made him feel better. Hopefully, it would work this time, too.

_Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.  
They wipe away tears that I cry.  
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.  
You make me rise when I fall. _

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.  
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.  
Need you by my side.  
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.  
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.  
Can't you hear my heart beat so...  
I can't let you go.  
Want you in my life.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.  
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.  
Need you by my side.

When the song ended, Freddie still didn't acknowledge my presence. Since he was being so quiet I decided I would break the ice.

"I remember when we first watched that video together."

* * *

Normal POV:

-Flashback-

Freddie walked into the Shay apartment. He saw his girlfriend of two weeks sitting at the computer. Freddie looked around for Carly or Spencer, but he didn't see them. Freddie approached Sam, kissed her on the cheek, and sat down next to her.

"Freddork, we're dating now. You got to do better than that."

Freddie smiled and kissed Sam on her lips.

"That's better."

"So what is my girlfriend doing?"

"Checking out this Cascada video."

"I didn't know you liked her stuff."

"It's okay, but this video reminds me of us."

"That's touching."

Sam punched her boyfriend in the arm.

"Sorry, sorry. Just play the video."

Sam hit play. When it started, so did she. Freddie was so surprised that Sam could sing. It was the first time. When Sam finished, all she do was smile. The brunette kissed her passionately in return.

-end flashback-

* * *

"So, Freddork, Carly said you wanted to talk to me," Sam said.

Freddie cleared his throat. He finally looked up at Sam. His face was blank. "Yeah. Do you remember what happened last night?"

"Well, we went to a party and then came home. Why?"

He didn't answer her question. "Do you recall what happened at the party?"

Sam scrunched her eyebrows together in concentration. "Um, we danced. I drank a little. Then I went to the bathroom. When I was heading back to you, someone handed me another drink. After that, no." Sam was worried. Why couldn't she remember? What was in that drink. "What happened, Freddie?"

"I found you making out with Jonah."

"Carly said you had been bleeding."

"It was his blood. I punched him in the nose." Freddie took a breath. "Sam, I think we need to take a break from our relationship."

"What? Why? Freddie, I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing."

"Yeah, but when you saw it was me who had punched Jonah, you recognized me. You knew that person you were kissing wasn't me. Sam, if I hadn't stopped you, you would have had sex with him. Sam, technically, that's rape. He would have raped you."

Sam was speechless. Freddie continued.

"I just want to take a break and think things through. It's not official. You can still ride with me to school and everything. I just want to have some space, okay?"

"When will you tell me your decision," Sam whispered.

Freddie sighed. "How about after the next iCarly?"

Sam didn't answer. Freddie got up and walked back to his apartment. Sam let a tear drop as he made his retreat.


	3. The Reactions

**A/N: Okay, guys, chapter three is finally up. Sorry it took so long. This chapter was supposed to have something else in there, but I decided to save that for the next chapter since this one turned out to be so long already. Please enjoy. And don't forget to review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**The Reactions**

Sam POV:

I felt something wet falling on me. I looked around to see that it was raining, predictable Seattle weather. I used to think that predictable was the worst thing in the world. Knowing what's on people's minds, what people are about to do, and when they are going to do it is boring. That's what I love so much about me and Freddie. I never knew what was going to happen, what we would fight about next, or which one of us would start the argument (more than likely it would be me). Dating Freddie was an adventure. Since the beginning, our relationship had been a mystery to me. Now it was on the border of being over. And for the first time in my life, I wish I had seen this coming. What Freddie said had not only surprised me, it had also taken me for a roller coaster ride.

Something kept hitting my body. I blinked to see that the rain was coming down harder. It seemed that some of the rain was being held back by the fire escape. The rest of it was hitting me directly. After being on the fire escape for these few minutes, I realized that the rain was telling me to go. But for some reason I didn't want to leave. Maybe I thought that I would give Freddie a few minutes to reconsider. That he wouldn't need to wait until after the next iCarly to tell me we were supposed to be together. I looked up at the sky and watched as the rain fell. I thought about all those sappy movies where it started to rain because something sad had happened. Before I just thought it was a load of crap. Now I believed that it was a load of bull crap. Rain was just about an everyday weather report for Seattle.

Oh my God. What am I thinking? Sam Puckett does not contemplate the weather. I don't let a tear drop because my dorky boyfriend wants to think about our two year relationship as a couple. And I most certainly Do Not wait around for a guy, much less Freddie, no matter how I feel about him.

I stood up and went inside. I walked down the hall, making my way back to Carly's apartment. As I arrived, I didn't even look at Freddie's door. I just walked straight into Carly's place.

* * *

Carly POV:

I was sitting on the couch watching Girly Cow when a wet Sam finally came through my doors. I was slightly surprised. I didn't know that Sam and Freddie had left the building. But I figured that since Sam had been gone so long that they probably went to get something to eat.

"Ah, Sam you're wetting up my floor," I stated. "Go upstairs, dry off, and get changed."

"Yes, Mom," Sam said sarcastically.

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated."

As she went upstairs to dry off and change, I cleaned up the puddle Sam had left in front of my door. I wondered if she knew what was up with Freddie. I really wanted to know. I mean, I wasn't trying to be nosy or anything. I just wanted to know what was up with my friend. I continued to wonder until Sam made her way back downstairs. She went directly to my refrigerator and got out some left over chili.

"Sam, you're hungry?" I asked. I was sure Freddie would take her to get something to eat.

"Duh, Carly. I've only had a few slices of ham today."

"Oh, I just thought Freddie had taken you out to eat somewhere."

"Why would you think that? I've only been gone for what thirty minutes?"

"No, Sam, you've been gone for about four and a half hours."

"What?" Sam practically yelled.

"Yeah, and since you had been gone so long I thought Freddie was okay. What happened with him anyway?"

Sam was quiet. She started to move around the kitchen. First she grabbed a bowl. She put some chili in it and went over to the microwave to heat up her food. Finally, when her food was good and hot she sat down at the table, nodding at me to do the same. She took one bite of her chili and sighed. At first, I believed it was because she was enjoying her food. Then I realized that it was a sad sigh. My friends were really in a sighing mood today. And I still didn't know why. Suddenly Sam began to speak.

"Freddie wants some space."

I was shocked. "What do you mean?"

"He wants to take a break in our relationship."

"What? Why? You know what, just start from the beginning."

"Fine."

And so she began. She told me how she knew Freddie would be out on the fire escape. How he was listening to Cascada. She even told me about her trip down memory lane.

"Wait. How does that video remind you of you and Freddie?" I asked.

"I would be the hot blonde. He would be the dorky librarian. Now no more questions, Shay."

Sam continued to tell me what she remembered about the party. How she didn't remember anything that had happened after she drunk some drink that was given to her on her way back from the bathroom. Then she told me what Freddie told her. She told me how he wanted some time to think about their relationship. And also how after he left, Sam remained sitting on the fire escape until it started to rain.

"Sam…" I trailed off. I didn't know what to say. "I'm so sorry that that happened to you. But come on. I know you can see where Freddie's coming from. Just give him some space. He'll come around."

"You think? I mean…I don't know what to think. I just don't want the stupid dork to dump me. Do you know how embarrassing that would be for me?"

Now I knew Sam was trying to cover up her feelings for Freddie. I knew for a fact that if Freddie broke up with Sam, her world would come crashing down. "Trust me. Freddie's whole life revolves around you. It's just a few days. Before you know it, you two will be back together."

"Thanks, Carls." Sam smiled at me before finishing her chili.

For the rest of the evening, we just hung out around my apartment. We watched some TV and then some movies. When Spencer got home we grilled him about his day, but mostly about his date. And then we finally got ready for bed. Sam had spent the whole weekend at my house. Tomorrow we had to go to school. Ugh.

I wanted to talk to Freddie. I knew that Sam would never cheat on him. She wasn't that type of girl. I knew for a fact that he knew that, too. But what I couldn't figure out how Sam got put into that position. Maybe she was drugged or that last drink Sam had was a type of alcohol Sam hadn't had before. I needed to know what was going on in his head.

I sighed. Great now I'm doing it. I just had to fix this mess.

* * *

Freddie POV:

What I did on the fire escape was hard. But, I knew that a short break was what we needed. I just wanted some time to think. And that's what I had gotten, a lot of time to think. Last night, I was awake for hours thinking about Sam. And when I actually did sleep, I dreamed about Sam. I barely got any sleep. When my alarm went off this morning I was already woke. As I prepared for school, I thought about any conclusions I got to last night. Throughout the night, I made a list. It wasn't really a pro and con list, but it was a list about things that happened during our relationship and things I knew about Sam.

**Sam almost cheated on me**

**Sam isn't the type to cheat**

**Sam always becomes drunk at parties**

**Sam always pulls pranks on me**

**Sam beats me up on a regular basis**

**Sam is entertaining**

**She's great in bed**

**Not only my lover, but is also my best friend**

**A wonderful kisser**

**Keeps me on my toes**

**Embarrasses me in front of everyone**

**With Sam I never have a dull moment**

**Makes fun of my crazy mother (though true, it's not appreciated)**

**Makes me laugh**

**Always copy my homework without permission**

**Naturally vicious**

**My exact opposite**

**I'm in sync with Sam**

**Sam loves me (I think)**

**I love Sam**

And that was only off the top of my head. I looked in my mirror. It was about time to go. I decided to grab a breakfast bar for breakfast, and then head over to Carly's.

I hesitated before I knocked. I truly didn't know what to expect. I didn't see Sam at all after our little scene on the fire escape. And I was glad. I took it as a good sign that Sam wasn't going to hurt me because I decided to put our relationship on hold. But now, I didn't know how to act. Should I act like everything was normal, or should I completely ignore Sam? Well I was aware of the fact that I couldn't ignore Sam, especially since she was going to be riding in my car to school and then at school we had a few classes together.

I took a deep breath. The best way to approach would be to go with the flow, I guess. So I knocked on the Shay's door twice then took the initiative to enter. Carly was sitting on the couch putting books into her bag. Sam, on the other hand, was sitting at the counter with her back to me. From my view it looked like she was eating.

"Hey guys."

"Hi, Freddie," Carly greeted.

Sam said nothing.

"So, are you two ready to go?"

"Uh, yeah, I am." Tension filled the air. I sensed that Carly felt it too because she said, "Let's go ahead and go to your car, Freddie. Sam finish up and come on. We'll be waiting in the parking garage, okay?"

"Sure, Carly," Sam said in a monotone voice. She didn't turn around at all. "I'll be down soon."

Carly and I made our way out of the apartment. We got into the elevator and rode down to the parking garage. I was about to open the driver's door to my Altima when Carly stopped me.

"Sam told me what happened on the fire escape yesterday."

I sighed. I understood why Sam told Carly. I figured that she would tell Carly. I had just hoped that Carly would say anything to me about it. I asked for some space so that I could think. I didn't need Carly to come and try to help me figure things out. I could do that on my own.

"Okay," I said with a blank face.

"I understand the logic behind what you're doing. What I don't understand is why you are doing it. You know Sam would never cheat. You know she was drunk, or possibly even drugged. So, why are you putting you and Sam through this?"

"Look Carly, I'm only going to say this once. After this I want you to drop it, okay?" I didn't wait for an answer. "I'm doing this because I need to. I love Sam. From the bottom of my heart, I do. But before we go on with our relationship, I want to make sure that I'm willing to handle everything that comes with Sam. That includes the pranks, the constant beatings, and seeing her drunk at every party we go to. I don't want to be put through what I went through the other night again. With Sam, it's a possibility and you know it." I took a breath. "Carly, what I asked for was space and that's what I need. Please don't tell Sam about any of this. I don't want her to feel the need to change so that we can be a couple. She shouldn't have to change for anyone. Agreed?"

Carly thought about what I said. Then after a minute she spoke. "I understand. I agree."

We got into the car and waited for Sam. I saw her coming in my rear view mirror. For a second, she paused. I guess she was trying to decide where to sit. Sam came up to the passenger seat, and sat up front with me. As soon as she buckled in, I took off for school. It was going to be a long few days.


	4. The Decision

**A/N: Hey guys. Sorry it took so long to finish and put this chapter up. But I do have an excuse. I was moving into my dorm and began school. Anyway, here's the 4th chapter. I personally think it good, but it doesn't matter what I think it matters what you the readers think, so don't forget to review and let me know all your thoughts (good and bad).**

**iCarly Announcement: In case you haven't heard, it's been said that Jane Lynch will play Sam's mom on an episode of iCarly. I personally think that this is a great choice. I love Jane Lynch.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**The Decision**

Carly POV

The whole ride to school was awkward. No one spoke a word the entire way. In truth, I was surprised that Sam still decided to sit up front with Freddie. I had assumed that she would sit in the back with me, maybe hoping for a little moral support, or even ask me to sit in the passenger seat so that she could have the back seat to herself. But I should have known Sam wouldn't do either. Sam hated sitting in the back and she didn't like doing things with others' comfort in mind. I thought back to my conversation with Freddie. I understood exactly where he was coming from. Freddie is the kind of guy that takes really good care of his girlfriend. And I know that taking care of Sam is a full time job. I believe Sam and Freddie just need to take a short break. Even Sam and I have to get away from each other. Though normally it's a fight that shows us we need space, we always stay best friends. Thinking back, Sam and Freddie have never had a break from each other. Sure they fight all the time, but that's a daily occurrence. Nothing has ever happened to make either Sam or Freddie re-evaluate their relationship- until now.

At least Freddie knows that he loves Sam. I was slightly shocked to hear him say it out loud. I wondered if Sam felt the same. From the look on her face when she told me about Freddie wanting some space, her feelings matched his. It was obvious my two best friends were meant for each other.

As soon as Freddie parked in the Ridgeway parking lot, Sam jumped out and headed inside the school. I looked at Freddie, who was staring straight ahead, and patted his shoulder before I followed Sam into the school. I made my way to my locker. I found Sam standing in front of her locker with the door open.

"Carly, what I'm about to say never leaves this spot." I nodded a confirmation. "I don't think I can do this."

"Do what Sam?"

"Be without the dork. It is not suppose to be this hard. I thought he was going to get on his knees and end this stupid break this morning, but he didn't even glance at me while we were on the way to school."

"Sam, calm down. You guys are going to be okay. I agree with Freddie you two just need some space and time."

"What?" Sam practically shouted. "You agree with the nub?"

"Sam, you and Freddie are always together. And you two fighting is a regular thing. Space was bound to be asked for from either you or him. It's just that Freddie got to it before you. All you need to do is relax. The break is only a few days, not even a whole week."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Carly. It won't kill me." I noticed Sam was looking past me. I turned around to see Sam was staring at Freddie.

Freddie was talking with one of his AV buddies. Freddie said his good-byes to his friend and started toward his locker. Freddie walked right pass us without a single word.

"I gotta go give a nerd a wedgie before class," Sam said as she stalked off in search of her prey.

I opened my locker to get the books I needed, and then I headed over to Freddie's locker. He was closing his locker door as I arrived.

"Hey, Freddie. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Freddie answered giving me a confused look.

"Oh good. I didn't know if the car ride was tough on you."

"Yeah, I'm good. But Carly I think that while Sam and I are, um, on these terms we shouldn't see each other as much as we usually do."

My jaw dropped. "Freddie, are you breaking up with me?"

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Carly, stop being so dramatic. I just don't want to take the chance on being influenced on my decision about Sam."

"Freddie, I would nev-" Freddie cut me off.

"Maybe not on purpose, but it could happen."

"What about iCarly? Are you still doing the show this week? And if so, what about rehearsals?"

Freddie took a second before answering. "It might be better if I get you guys a replacement for this week."

"But you always do the show. You're our permanent tech-producer."

"Carly, I'm not quitting. I'm just missing a show and some rehearsals. Look I'm willing to do the show, but the rehearsals might be a bit much right now."

"Well then just do the show. What's the problem?"

"Uh, I wouldn't know what you two would be doing. Carly, it's not a big deal. I'll get you guys someone good, someone you know. Okay?"

"Fine," I said curtly. "And while we're distancing ourselves, don't bother giving Sam and me rides to and from school. We have other means of transportation." I didn't give him a chance to respond. I spun around and headed towards my first class.

* * *

"You what?" Sam yelled causing the other students in the cafeteria to look our way.

"I told Freddie that he didn't need to take us to school."

"Why did you tell him that?"

"Cause he was being Mr. Distance and decided not to do iCarly this week, so I got a little upset and told him to not bother with giving us rides."

"Wait. He's not doing iCarly this week?"

"No."

"Well this is just great," Sam said sarcastically. "I can't believe this is happening."

"It'll be over before you know it."

"Yeah," Sam replied in a monotone voice.

We sat in silence. A question kept nagging at me until I finally got the courage to ask it. "Sam, are you in love we Freddie?"

Sam looked up at me. "As much as I hate to admit it, I think I am. I think I've fallen head over heels for the dork." She gave me a small smile. "I'll see you later Carly."

I sighed as I watched Sam retreat from the lunch room. I just didn't know what to do for Sam. I scanned the cafeteria for Freddie. I finally located him on the other side of the room. He was sitting with Gibby and a couple of other people from the AV club. Freddie was acting like he would with Sam and me at lunch. He was talking and laughing with everyone at the table. This made me worried. While Sam was struggling, Freddie was taking everything in stride. I observed the two as the week went on.

Freddie didn't approach either Sam or me. The only message we got from him was to tell us Shane would be taking his place on iCarly. I was kinda happy he got Shane to replace him. Shane had finally started to acknowledge Sam and me a little over a year ago despite what happened when we were fifteen. Freddie seemed to be doing better than Sam. He would hang with Gibby a lot, and Gibby would give me updates about Freddie which in turn I would tell Sam.

Gibby wasn't that much help. He basically told us that Freddie was acting like normal. Freddie still went to AV meetings, he was still focused on his school work, and he still hung out afterschool. Once I asked Gibby if Freddie ever talked about Sam. Gibby said that Freddie only told him what was going on with between the couple and that was it.

Sam, on the other hand, was a mess. If Sam wasn't talking about Freddie, she was completely silent. I practically had to force her to participate in iCarly rehearsals. Even eye candy like Shane didn't help her mood; which was weird because even when Sam and Freddie were on good terms, she would still talk to me about the hot guys at our school. But the worst part of it all was the torture. When Sam and Freddie first began to go out, Sam started to mellow out. Instead of bullying other kids, she would bully Freddie, who could take it with a smile. Sure every once in a while she would give wedgies, but mostly all her attention went to Freddie. This week was different. Sam was on another level of anger. Kids left and right felt her wrath. She tripped kids, pushed them out of her way, if they were being too loud by her standards she would punch/kick them, and she gave Texas wedgies instead of the usual and less painful wedgie.

It was a hard week for all of us. Freddie pretending every thing's alright, Sam going on a rampage, and me having to witness it all. Thank God it was finally the day for iCarly. I don't think I could take much more of all this drama.

* * *

Sam POV

I hated every moment of these past few days. I hated being without Freddie as much as I hate to admit it. I hated seeing him being all nonchalant in the hallways at school. I hated that I was depressing Carly. It was too much work and so hard. It was finally time for iCarly. For some reason my day was a little brighter seeing the finish line to this ridiculous break.

I walked into the iCarly studio and smiled. I greeted Carly and Shane. We had a few minutes until we had to start the show. Carly pulled me to the side and asked me if I was going to be okay.

I smiled at her and told her, "I'm going to be fine. Let's put on a great show."

She looked at me skeptically. In all honesty I couldn't blame her. I haven't been myself, but it was different now.

"Carls, I'm going to put on a great show just in case Freddie's watching. I don't want it to seem like I'm down, I guess."

"You know he could have seen all the stuff that happened at school, right?"

"Yeah, I know, but that's why I have to make it count now. The moment of truth is only a short web show away."

"Okay. Good luck." Carly gave me a smile and an encouraging nod.

Shane signaled that it was time to do the show. He even did the countdown without the one. I put on a smile and did my job as co-host. I really had to try my best not to think about Freddie. The show went okay. Of course it would have gone better if a certain dork was behind the camera instead Shane, but whatever. What's done is done. And soon enough the show was over. Carly and me high-fived, then Carly and Shane, and finally Shane and me. After everything was shut down, Shane said he had to leave, but he'll see us around. I think this made Carly ecstatic. But at the moment I was too distracted. I didn't know if I was supposed to go to Freddie's place or if he was coming here. Or maybe we were supposed to meet back at the fire escape. I watched as Shane left the studio. About five seconds later I heard the door opening again. Carly and I looked to see the one and only Freddie Benson.

Carly quietly excused herself and walked out of the studio. There was nothing but silence between Freddie and me. We probably stood like that for at least a good five minutes. Freddie was the one to finally break the silence.

"Do you want to talk here or somewhere else?" Freddie asked.

I didn't know what to say. Would a different location matter? "Let's go to the fire escape," I finally answered.

Freddie turned around and walked out. I did all I could do and followed. The tension was high between us. I didn't see either Carly or Spencer. I figured they must be in their rooms. We walked out of the apartment and made our way to the fire escape. Freddie didn't turn around once. Freddie stepped out onto the fire escape and took a seat on the steps, whereas I took a seat on the window sill.

"Sam," Freddie said. I realized that just hearing him say my name made my heart beat like crazy.

"Yeah?"

"I thought a lot about us these past few days. I know you wouldn't cheat on me. I talked to Jonah a couple of days ago. He had a friend hand you that drink. He told me one swallow was all you needed to do what you did. There was some kind of drug in the drink. The alcohol only made it stronger."

"That little- I'm gonna kill him." I was outraged. How dare he? That little twig was going to be snapped in two soon.

"Calm down, I already took care of Jonah. If you noticed he hasn't been to school, that's because of me."

I calmed down a little. In truth I hadn't even thought about Jonah. My mind had been focused on the boy in front of me.

"Um, thank you, Freddie." I smiled at him.

"Sam, I think we should break-up." My smile faded.

"What? Why? Jonah told you he drugged me. I didn't do anything wrong. Those actions weren't mine. I was under the influence."

"That's just it. Why did you take the drink? You're not stupid. You didn't know who was handing you that drink. Yet you drank it anyways." Freddie was starting to get worked up. He had to take a deep breath. "I won't always be on time, Sam. We were lucky this time around."

"What are you trying to say? Since I'm not Miss Responsible, you want to break-up with me. Freddie you knew that before we started going out. That's just how I am."

"What I'm trying to say is I-I l-love you. Sam, you're my whole world. I love everything about you, including your recklessness. I even like taking care of you. But what happens when I'm not with you. Sam, we both could get hurt, and I don't think I could take it. That's why I'm breaking up with you."

I was shocked. I was speechless, but I could still move. And move I did. I kissed Freddie with everything I had. I felt Freddie react. That kiss was probably the most passionate kiss we had ever shared. He pulled me into his lap and left his arms wrapped around me. I sighed as his tongue entered my mouth and began to wrestle with my tongue. We were on fire. The kiss had to end because we needed to breathe. I let my lips trail down to the base of his neck, leaving kisses here and there.

"I love you, too, Freddie. And this is where I belong. I belong in your arms."

Freddie turned my face up towards his. He showed me such a tender expression before he leaned down and kissed me. It was so soft, yet so filled with emotion. I felt Freddie's love in that one kiss. Freddie broke the kiss just as I was starting to react to it. He gently pushed me off his lap. We both stood there looking into each other's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I am so sorry. You'll find someone better." Freddie kissed me on my forehead and left.

This time I really and truly did cry. Only one thought crossed my mind. It was what Carly told me earlier this week.

"It'll be over before you know it."

And it was. My relationship was over.


	5. The Aftermath

**A/N: Well I hope you guys are ready for this one. I think I did a pretty good job on this chapter even though I decided to cut it short. I hope you all are pleased with the outcome of this chapter. If you're not then let me know in the reviews and I'll see what I can do in the chapters to come. If you like this chapter, then please, please, please review. The reviews are what keep me writing so please continue to give me feedback (both good and bad).**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.**

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* * *

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**Chapter 5**

**The Aftermath**

Carly POV

~knock knock~

I knocked on Sam's bedroom door for what seemed like the millionth time. For the past week, I have been over to Sam's house every day. And every time I visit, I never see Sam. Sam wasn't going to school. She wasn't coming over to my house. It seemed that Sam wasn't doing anything lately. I knew the reason why. There was no question about it that this was about Sam and Freddie's breakup. In truth, I never thought that this would happen. In some ways, I felt guilty. I was the one that told Sam that all Freddie needed was some space. I was the one that told her that they would get back together. I had built up Sam's hope for her relationship to be what it once was, and now her world has come crashing down. I remember how horrible Sam looked when we found her.

-flashback—

It had been a couple of hours after the show had ended. I had gone straight into my room after Freddie had shown up in the studio. I couldn't stay upstairs with them for obvious reasons like privacy, and I didn't want to go downstairs just in case they too decided to go down stairs during their conversation.

So I sat in my room, and tried to finish my homework. By the time I was through I looked at my alarm clock to see that quite a bit of time had passed. I went downstairs and looked around the living room. No one was there. I walked into the kitchen to make some of my special lemonade. I noticed that there was a note left from Spencer. He said that he went out to hang with Socko and to grab a few supplies from the junkyard. I wondered where Sam and Freddie were. I forgot about my lemonade and ran upstairs to the studio to take a peek and see if they were still there. Unfortunately, they weren't. I decided to call Sam and see if she wanted to go to the Groovy Smoothie.

I listened as the phone rung and rung, but no one ever picked up. Eventually, it went to voicemail. Instead of leaving a message, I hung up and tried Freddie's cell. I figured my best friends must be together. And I knew that Freddie always answered his phone. Sam was always annoyed by this fact because sometimes his phone would ring while they were making out, and Freddie would stop, and answer it. I remember hearing the two argue over it several times.

Freddie finally picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Freddie."

"Oh, hey, Carly. What's up?"

"I was just wondering if you and Sam wanted to go to the Groovy Smoothie with me."

Freddie didn't respond as quickly as he normally would. He seemed almost hesitant. "Carly, I would love to but I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?" I asked. This wasn't making any sense. Then after a moment it finally clicked. "Oh, I get it. You and Sam want to spend some alone time together. Getting back together with a bang, right?"

"Uh, Carly, Sam and I broke up."

Now it was my turn to pause. Finally I yelled, "What?"

"Carly, calm down. We broke up."

"Why?" I continued to yell.

"If you don't mind, I would rather not get into right now, okay?"

I sighed. "Fine." I didn't know what else I could say. "Do you know where Sam is? I know she could use the emotional support."

"I haven't seen her since our talk. Maybe she went home."

Something didn't feel right. "Freddie, I don't think so. Something's wrong."

"Hold on."

"What for?"

"I going to see if she's still around the building."

I heard a lot of shuffling around on Freddie's end. I decided that I should look around more thoroughly just in case Sam was here. I looked around the studio once more, making sure to check the back of the studio. I took the stairs to the floor my bedroom was on. I looked around my room, and then proceeded to my bathroom. Before I could reach the bathroom, I heard Freddie begin to talk in his phone.

"What did you say, Freddie?"

"I found her. I need your help. Come out to the fire escape on our floor."

"Okay," I responded before I hung up and raced down the stairs.

Soon I reached the fire escape. I looked onto the fire escape. Sam was lying down on the fire escape. I stepped out onto the fire escape and kneeled beside her. She was sleeping in a slight curled up position. I could see that she had been crying from the tear streaks on her face. She looked really pale in the face.

"Sam," I said hoping to wake her. I gently shook her. Nothing. I suddenly realized that Freddie was missing. Where did he go? As if he heard my question, Freddie appeared and answered me.

"I'm right here. I ran back to my apartment when I was talking to you. I wanted to grab some blankets. It looks like she must have fainted."

I looked at the blankets in his arms. "Why do you say that?"

"She didn't wake up when I got here. And her breathing and heartbeats are normal."

I watched Freddie as he carefully wrapped the blankets around Sam. He was still as caring as ever. I wondered if he was sure they were broken up.

"We need to get her home," Freddie suddenly said.

"She could stay at my place," I offered. Of course my place was closer than hers, and if she was there I could make sure to take care of her. I had no idea what would happen if we took her to her house.

Freddie nodded in agreement. Freddie gently picked Sam up. I was the first one through the window. I turned around to help Freddie into the hallway without hurting either Sam or himself.

We made our way back in silence. Once we were inside my house, Freddie asked where I wanted him to put Sam. I told him to take her up to my room. Freddie nodded. Freddie walked up the stairs to my room. Before I followed, I grabbed a glass of water and some medicine in case Sam needed it when she woke up.

I went upstairs to find that Freddie had placed Sam on my bed, and was now sitting beside her. I cleared my throat. Freddie looked up to see what I had brought. He stood up and began to walk towards me. Freddie lightly placed a hand on my shoulder as if to say "Take care of her." I didn't have time to say anything because before I could open my mouth to say anything Freddie continued on his way out of the room.

I sighed. I went over to Sam and felt her forehead. She didn't have a fever or anything. I wondered why she passed out.

A half hour passed before Sam woke up.

"Where am I?" Sam asked. Her voice sounded hoarse.

"You're in my room," I said as I gave her the water.

She quickly gulped down the water. Once she was through, she laid back down. "Carly, can you take me home?"

"Oh, um, can you wait a while?" I didn't know when Spencer would get home.

"No," she stated bluntly. "I want to go home now…" Sam trailed off as she once again became unconscious. I tried to wake her but to no avail.

Sam didn't want to be here. I didn't know what to do. I walked out into the hall and made a call. After a few minutes, Freddie had arrived. On the phone, I told him what happened and asked if he could take Sam home. At first, Freddie refused. I finally wore him down.

Once again, Freddie picked Sam up. He carried her all the way to his car. Freddie carefully placed her on the backseat. Freddie and I sat up front. He started the car and we made our way to Sam's house. When we got there, Freddie carried Sam to the front door. I was the one to knock on the front door. Sam's mom opened the door.

She took one look at Sam and asked, "She drunk?"

"No, ma'am," I answered.

Mrs. Puckett opened the door wider so that Freddie could get by her. Freddie went inside and I followed behind him. Freddie continued further into the house taking Sam to her room. I stopped in the living room to wait for Freddie. Mrs. Puckett sat down on the couch, and watched TV. After a couple of minutes Freddie came back down the hall. We said our good-byes to Sam's mom, and made our way to Freddie's car.

We rode in silence until Freddie spoke suddenly. "Buy me a smoothie?"

"What?" I wasn't sure I had heard him right.

"Buy me a smoothie?"

"Why me?"

"You want to know what happened, right? The least you could do is buy me a smoothie."

"So you'll tell me when I buy you a smoothie?"

"Yep."

"Okay, sure why not?"

From the corner of my eye I saw a small smile appear on Freddie's face. After about a minute, we pulled into the Groovy Smoothie parking lot. I bought us a couple of smoothies while Freddie found us a table.

When I got the smoothies, I walked over to the table and handed Freddie his Blueberry Blitz. He took a sip. Freddie took a deep breath and then began to replay what had happened on the fire escape.

-end flashback—

"Sam, open up," I called. I had continued to knock on the door, but I hadn't heard anything from her side of the bedroom door. "Sam, it's been over a week. Please talk to me. Come on. I'm your best friend. You can talk to me." I paused. I pressed my ear to the door. However I still heard nothing. "Alright, Sam, if this is the way you want to be then I'll just have to step up my game."

I walked away from the door. I went into the living room and looked at the person on the couch. "I need your help getting into Sam's room. The door's locked."

Mrs. Puckett looked up from the TV. "You're in luck. I'm on commercial." Pam Puckett rose from her seat and walked down the hall. I followed after her. When we reached Sam's room, Mrs. Puckett squatted 'til she was eye level with the door knob. She pulled a couple of things out of her pocket and began to pick the lock. In a matter of seconds, Mrs. Puckett had the door unlocked. She stood up straight, nodded at me, and then headed back to the living room.

I opened up the door to find the room a mess. The floor was completely covered with junk. There were wrappers, pizza boxes, take-out containers, and so much more. I couldn't even see the floor. Clothes had been thrown about her room. I looked to see that a lamp had been broken. It had been completely destroyed. My eyes finally made their way to the bed. I saw a lump that was hidden by the covers. I figured that that must be Sam.

I carefully made my way over to the bed. I pulled back the covers to find Sam curled up into a ball. She barely spared me a glance. I sat down on the edge of the bed. I looked into her eyes to find them a dull blue. They didn't have the normal Sam fire in them. Her eyes made me realize that I needed to take this slow.

"Sam?" I said as I pulled some of her hair away from her face. "Sam, will you please talk to me?" I waited, but no words came from her mouth. "Freddie told me what happened between you two." I decided to talk until she was ready. "I'm so sorry that you two broke up. In a way I feel that I'm somewhat responsible. I didn't know what Freddie was thinking. I shouldn't have told you everything would be okay. I gave you high hopes, and I shouldn't have. I apologize."

I looked over at Sam. All she did was blink. I decided to continue. "You know there are other guys out there; guys better than Freddie. You can definitely find someone else, Sam."

I heard Sam mumble something. "What did you say Sam?"

"There is no one else."

"Yes there is."

"Carly there isn't for me. Freddie is my soul mate. I already know this. I don't want anyone else."

"Sam-" I began only to be cut off by my best friend.

"Carly, no disrespect, but you don't know how I feel. You have never felt this way. I love him. I really, truly love him. Sometimes it feels like that fairytale love between the prince and the princess. It's real Carly. I've lived it. I don't think I can go back to the way it was before. It'll be too hard and I don't think I can make it."

As I listened to Sam I realized that I don't believe I have ever felt that way, the way she described. But I didn't want my best friend to live life mourning a relationship that had been long over with. "Sam, do you think you could try to move on? I don't mean right away. But you should atleast get out of bed and start living your life again. Then when you're ready, think about your love life."

Sam finally sat up. "Okay. I was getting sick of lying here anyways." Sam gave me a small smile. I could tell it was a fake one, but I appreciated the effort.

"And if you want we can put iCarly on hiatus for a couple of months. Then you won't have to see Freddie as much."

"No, I want to do iCarly. If I don't then I'll probably mope around all the time. Plus I want-no, need to see Freddie. If he is not in my life whether as a friend or a boyfriend, I just might go insane."

I studied Sam for a moment. All in all, she looked terrible. There were bags under her eyes. Her hair was a mess. She probably hadn't showered in days. I wasn't sure if Sam should or shouldn't see Freddie as much as she wanted, but if that's what she wanted I didn't want to stand in her way.

Slowly I nodded giving her the okay.

* * *

Sam POV

Carly left after I promised that I would go to school on Monday which was tomorrow. I really didn't want to go but I knew that I needed to go for Carly. I knew that she had come to my house every day, but I was too stubborn to let her see me like that. I was pathetic. I remember when I used to tease girls that pined after boys who had already dumped them. I had always told them to suck it up, it was over, and there was nothing they could do about it. Now I was just like them. I was trying to cling to my past.

I thought for a moment. I thought back to the fire escape. I had my very first kiss there. My very first date with Freddie was there, too. He thought I might like to have our first date in that cramped space all because our first kiss was in that very same spot. Freddie had set up a small picnic and he had a single candle in the very center of the blanket. The picnic consisted of all my favorite foods: fried chicken, ribs, and, of course, ham. Our date was at night so that we could look at the stars. It was just our luck that we got to see a shooting star. We closed our eyes and made our wishes. I asked Freddie what he wished for and he refused to tell me because then it wouldn't come true. We made a deal. If he told me his, I would tell him mine. So he told me that he wished we would always be together. I told him I wished the school would blow up.

I guess his wish didn't come true. I should have never told him to tell me. Maybe whoever grants those stupid wishes decided that since Freddie told me, the wish was now void.

Our breakup scene continued to play in my mind. It was like it was on repeat or something. Freddie said he loved me, and I knew that was true. When he found me I wasn't asleep. I just had my eyes closed. I heard the worry and concern in his voice. Freddie checked my pulse and breathing. I prayed that my heart wasn't beating to fast from the touch of his skin. I was surprised when he left me just lying there on the fire escape. A couple minutes later I heard Carly call my name and try to shake me awake. I couldn't believe that Freddie had left me to go get Carly. I wanted to cry, but then I heard his voice again. He had come back. He had thought that I had fainted and he went to get me some blankets.

I felt his strong arms wrap the blankets around me. He smelled faintly like cologne. I heard that he wanted to get me home, but Carly said that I could just stay at her house like I always did. Freddie picked me up carefully and carried me bridal style back to Carly's apartment. He took me up to her room and gently laid me on her bed.

As I laid there Freddie whispered my name. He kissed me lightly on the lips. It took everything I had not to ravage him, but to stay still as if I was truly asleep. The next thing that happened shocked me. I felt the bed shift as Freddie sat on the edge of the bed.

Freddie leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Don't do this, Sam. This isn't you. You are not weak, so stop acting like it. The girl I love would be on the move without a second thought. Whether she would hunt me down and beat me up for breaking up with her or find a new guy to take my place, she would never let someone see her defenseless. Get it together, Puckett."

Freddie probably knew me better than anyone. And knowing that fact, I knew he was right but something in me didn't want him to be. After Freddie left, I began to wonder if he knew that I was faking it, but it didn't matter because I really did go to sleep. When I woke up to Carly, I realized that Bushwell Plaza was the last place I wanted to be. I remember telling this to Carly then falling asleep again. The next time I woke up, I was in my room.

Everything that had happened hit me like that taco truck had hit Freddie a couple of years ago. I felt so many different emotions that I went wild. I went to my closet and pulled out clothes that Freddie had seen me in. I wanted to throw it all away which was pretty stupid since Freddie has seen me in everything I own. I saw the lamp on my desk and I thought of Freddie. He was always such a good student. He tried to make me a good student too. He was the one who bought me the stupid desk lamp in the first place. I grabbed the lamp and threw it across my room, but that didn't do enough damage. Luckily I had a hammer in my room. I found the hammer and beat the crap out of the lamp.

When I was through, I sat down on the floor next to my bed and pulled out a suitcase filled with an assortment of snacks. I ate and ate. I couldn't stop myself. Finally I did stop when I had to puke. I ran to my bathroom and vomited into the toilet. The flow of all the food I had just eaten seemed endless, but it eventually did end. I rinsed my mouth out and walked back into my room. I picked up some clothes from the floor and changed into them. I looked at the suitcase. It was only half full now. My room was a mess, but I just didn't care.

Tears started to fall as I looked at what I just did. I didn't know where I was supposed to go from here. I sat down on my bed and continued to cry like a baby. I probably cried the most I ever had and hopefully ever will. The tears stopped and I stood up and went back into my bathroom to wash my face. When I was finished, I walked back into my room and decided to go to sleep. I got underneath the covers and tried to make myself as comfortable as possible at the moment.

I thought about what Freddie said. Yeah, I agreed this wasn't me but maybe I wanted it to be. I stayed in my room doing nothing but lying down on my bed. The only reason I got up was for the food my mom left at the door. She would knock twice and then say, "Foods here, kid." I would here her footsteps as she made her way into some other part of the house. I always waited until I didn't hear them anymore. I would open the door and bring the food into my sanctuary.

Carly would come over to see me, but I didn't want to see anyone. I made sure never to make a sound and eventually she would go away. I guess she got tired of waiting for me to open the door so she got the person who taught me how to pick locks, my mom.

I'm glad she did. I was actually glad to see Carly. She apologized to me but she had nothing to be sorry about. In fact she had my gratitude. Without her, I wouldn't have made it through those few days without Freddie. I needed her even more so now that I really didn't have Freddie. Seeing her face made me it clear to me that I was ready to face the outside world.

Freddie's words came back to me. The way I was acting wasn't me. And the real me would not be moping around and feeling sorry for herself. It was time to set things into motion. I wanted to get back with Freddie and the possibility of that was zero if I never left my house. If we weren't meant to be fine, but Momma needed some proof before she gives up her man.


End file.
